Friday, July 30, 2010

Lincoln - Kennedy Conspiracy

The Lincoln - Kennedy Conspiracy Theory
 
  • Lincoln and Kennedy both have 7 letters in their last name
  • Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846, Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946
  • Lincoln was elected President in 1860, Kennedy was elected President in 1960
  • War was thrust upon Lincoln and Kennedy almost immediately after inauguration
  • Lincoln and Kennedy both ordered the Treasury to print it’s own money
  • Lincoln gave African Americans freedom and legalized equality, Kennedy enforced equality for African Americans
  • Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address on Nov 19, 1863, Kennedy was assassinated on Nov 22, 1963, almost 100 years to the day
  • Lincoln and Kennedy were both loved by the common people and hated by the establishment
  • Andrew Johnson was born in 1808, Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908
  • Lincoln was succeeded, after assassination, by Vice-President Johnson, Kennedy was succeeded, after assassination, by Vice-President Johnson
  • Lincoln and Kennedy were both shot in the head from a bullet that entered from behind
  • Both Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson’s names have 13 letters
  • Lincoln and Kennedy both were sitting by their wives when they were shot
  • Rathbone, who was with Lincoln when he was shot, was injured, Connally, who was with Kennedy when he was shot was also injured
  • Both Rathbone and Connally’s names have 8 letters
  • A Lincoln staffer Miss Kennedy told him not to go to the Theater. A Kennedy staffer Miss Lincoln, told him not to go to Dallas
  • Lincoln and Kennedy’s wives held their husbands head in their lap after they were shot
  • Lincoln and Kennedy were both shot on a Friday
  • Both Lincoln and Kennedy were shot in the back of the head
  • Lincoln was shot in Ford’s Theatre and Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln made by Ford Motor Company
  • Lincoln’s bodyguard was away from his post at the door of the President’s box at the theatre, Kennedy’s bodyguards were away from their posts on the running boards of the President’s car
  • Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran to a warehouse, Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran to a theatre
  • Lincoln’s assassin had a three names, John Wilkes Booth, Kennedy’s assassin had three names, Lee Harvey Oswald
  • John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald each have 15 letters
  • John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839, Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939
  • Neither Lincoln nor Kennedy died immediately after being shot
  • Lincoln died in Petersen’s House, Kennedy died in Parkland Hospital, Both places have the initials P.H.
  • Booth and Oswald were both shot in police custody before going to trial
  • Kennedy’s funeral was modeled after Lincoln’s funeral
  • Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson were both heavy drinkers
  • It is believed that Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson knew that Lincoln and Kennedy were going to be assassinated
  • Days before Lincoln was assassinated he told his wife about a dream he had where he was going to be assassinated, Kennedy told his wife and friends a few hours before he was assassinated that it would be easy for someone to assassinate him from the crowd
  • After Lincoln was shot the telegraph system went down, After Kennedy was shot the telephone system went down
  • Kennedy’s Father had been the Ambassador to England at the Court of St. James, Lincoln’s son became the Ambassador to England at the Court of St. James
  • Lincoln and Kennedy were the two greatest Presidents of the Nation
  • Lincoln and Kennedy’s wives both tastefully and expensively re-decorated the White House
  • Lincoln and Kennedy both loved great literature and could recite poetry by heart
  • Both had young children while living at the White House
  • Lincoln’s sons had ponies they rode on the White House grounds, Kennedy’s daughter had a pony she rode on the White House grounds
  • Lincoln and Kennedy both had a child die while living at the White House
  • Lincoln had two sons, Robert and Edward. Edward died young Robert lived on, Kennedy had two brothers named Robert and Edward. Robert died young and Edward lived on
  • Lincoln and Kennedy let their children run and play in their office
  • Abraham was the first name of the man who filmed Kennedy’s murder in the Lincoln
  • The man running alongside Kennedy’s car snapping pictures was a salesman who sold Lincolns
  • Kennedy bought a Virginia home that was the 1861 Civil War headquarters of Lincoln’s first General-in-Chief, McClellan
  • Jefferson Davis was the name of the President of the Confederate States while Lincoln was President of the Union States, Jefferson Davis Tippit was the name of the police officer killed allegedly by Kennedy’s alleged assassin
  • Lincoln and Kennedy were both famous for their wit and telling hilarious stories
  • Lincoln was sitting in a rocking chair at Ford’s Theatre when he was shot, Kennedy had a special rocking chair he sat in at the White House, Henry Ford bought the rocking chair Lincoln died in and put it in his museum in Dearborn
  • Kennedy’s seat he was sitting in when he was shot is also in the museum
  • John Kennedy is the name of a character in a 1951 movie about a detective traveling by train to thwart the assassination of President Lincoln, John Kennedy is the name of the real-life detective who traveled in the train with President Lincoln in 1860 to thwart his assassination

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Smurf Nazi Conspiracy?

This is another great Smurf Conspiracy Theory.

                          The Smurf Nazi Conspiracy?
                                      By Ice Ice Ice

Its so obvious, I don't know why everyone liked these li'l Aryan bastards so much. They were a "Hitlerrific" toy long before swastika game boards were fashionable.


The first example of this is their clothing. They're all dressed in white in similar fashion of the KKK, they even got the white hoodlike hats for Pete's sake! Now Papa Smurf wore red, but the KKK also uses different colored sheets to signify higher rank also. Speaking of color, the Smurfs were all one color, blue. Which supports the ideology of Aryan purity, and we know that having blue eyes was an Aryan ideal so thus the blue color. Now the blond hair Aryan ideal was represented by Smurfette, speaking of which why was she the only visible female smurf?

Now there have been theories that the Smurfs were just harmless homosexuals, but the truth is far more sinister, and goes back to Nazi ideology again: A woman's place was to stay home, bare foot and pregnant to produce more soldiers for the empire. That's why you never saw any other female Smurfs, they were basically treated as property. Smurfette being the exception because she was obviously Papa Smurf's illegitamate daughter. (There were also hints of incest going on as well, similar to Hitler's relationship with his cousin)

Now let's look at the Smurf's "enemy" Gargamel. who's obviously an Anti-Semetic characature of the "evil Jew" even down to the oversized nose. Even his cat Azrael has the same name as the Angel of Death in the Islamic tradition. (Himmler actually recruited Bosnian Muslims for his SS in Yugoslavia) And Azrael also sounds a little TOO close to Israel don't you think?

Let's look at some other characters, now scapegoatism was very common in Nazi Germany and Brainy Smurf seemed to be the whipping boy in smurf society. This makes sense, intellectualism was frowned upon in Nazi Germany also, but Brainy was probably invaluable in creating new technology, so he was killed. That young human boy who was always helping the Smurfs was a perfect example of Hitler Youth. Devoted and utterly loyal to them. You might ask why that Pansy Smurf hadn't been purged, but remember Ernst Rohem was also homosexual, a high ranking Nazi and utterly ruthless. Goreing was also prone to cross dressing. So Pansy Smurf probably had some serial blackmail, and clout to insure his survival.

The Smurf society just happend to be all blue you say? Nonsense! One only has to look to their relatives, the Snorks (Who are underwater Smurfs) and see that their society consisted of many colors. They even accepted foreigners who couldn't speak English (That green honking guy). If the Snorks were an equal, democratic and capitalist society, then the Smurfs represented the National Socialist Nightmare. Evidence shows that the Smurf society was similar to the Snorks at one time, but by the time we saw them, they'd already succeeded in their holocaust and wiped out any traces of their non-blue bretathern.

So were the Smurfs Communists?

  This is a great thesis as to why the Smurfs were Communists                        


                                  The Theory of Smurfian Communism
                                             By Andrew Dougherty

A sudden frost settles over the forest, the fresh crop of smurfberries is destroyed leaving the Smurfs with a low stock of food. Faced with starvation, Papa Smurf declares that all food will be rationed until the next crop of smurfberries is ready to be harvested. One night, while the peace loving villagers share their equally divided kernel of corn, it is discovered that Greedy Smurf, the baker, has an undeclared stock of food. Soon after, the village, led by Papa Smurf, storms Greedy's house and empty all his supplies of food. Not only is he now an outcast, he is beaten with a floorboard pulled up from his own house.

The preceding scene is found in the 1980's television show, The Smurfs. Produced by Hanna-Barberra, the television show ran for nine years on NBC, receiving the highest ratings for that network's Saturday morning lineup in eleven years. Based on Belgian Pierre "Peyo" Calliford's 1957 comic "Schtroumpfs", The Smurfs have a distinct, subtle likeness to the now defunct Soviet Union.

To support my thesis, please note that all of the Smurfs' dress exactly alike. The Communist Manifesto, written by Karl Marx, calls for a classless society. A society where all means of production are controlled by the people, where no one select group, the bourgeois, can control the jobs and the money thereby controlling the workers, the proletarians. In the Soviet Union, dictator Joseph Stalin instigated a series of five year plans, these plans consolidated small peasant farms into large collective farms owned by the government. The Smurfs all wore the same uniform, white hats, white pants, white shoes. Some might scoff and state that the female Smurfs wore a dress to the males' pants. While the women did have a separate uniform from that of the men, the women still had a uniform. Every Smurf alike in every way. Thus succeeding in one of the goals set forth in the preamble of the Soviet Union's Constitution.

Take note of the principle characters in the television shows; Papa, Hefty, Handy, Brainy, Vanity, Poet. Papa Smurf, the leader, is the only one who stands out of the group. His red clothing and facial hair separate him from the clean shaven, white clad citizens of Smurf Village. It is quite unmistakably a caricature of Vladimir Lenin and Stalin combined. Papa Smurf's red clothing can only mean to stand for the USSR To Russians, the color red signifies beauty, hence the red flag, Red Square, Red Army, et cetera.

Papa Smurf resembles Lenin in more than just hirsute appearance. Lenin, leader of the October Revolution, what brought down Tsar Nicholas Romanov II and placed the Communist party in charge of the government, led the Soviet Union from it's first day until his death on January 21, 1924. He was responsible for seizing control of all private business and giving control to the government. Papa Smurf, founded Smurf Village and began the processes of industrialization, building dams, workshops, and having the only contact with the outside world. Where Papa Smurf was acquainted with the subtle art of magic, Lenin was acquainted with the subtle art of diplomacy. In his youth, Papa Smurf left his home to create another place for Smurfdom to thrive. In January 1920, Lenin had made plans for the Red Army to invade Poland, extending the grasp of Communism.

Hefty Smurf is the soldier, the enforcer, if one is so inclined, of Smurf Village. His job is to fight to protect the village and keep the other Smurfs from harm. Hefty is a stereotypical NKVD agent, more recently known as KGB. He is the secret police. Hefty is what keeps the independent thought at bay. He keeps the other Smurfs in terror of what will happen if they disobey Papa Smurf. Hefty's strength is not only used to enforce Papa Smurf's will. It is also used to build and construct, for manual labor. Hefty is the ideal soldier/worker, solid, loyal to the cause and will not ask questions.

This brings the dramatus personae to Handy Smurf. Handy is the worker, the embodiment of Marx's proletarian. Handy is a farmer, a builder, an inventor, an engineer. He does all of these things, and is still only given the same amount as every other Smurf. Granted, under true communism, he would not have to do as much, but he is a good communist and will do everything in his power to advance the people and their lives.

Now, to the characters portrayed in less of a shining gold light, cast from above. The first Smurf to be criticized in every episode is Brainy Smurf. He is the only Smurf who openly undermines the Smurf state. His resemblance to Leon Trotsky. Trotsky, seemed to be the natural successor to Lenin. Just as Brainy seems the natural successor to Papa Smurf. Trotsky's claim to Lenin's position seemed to be based more on appearance than substance. Having joined the Bolshevik party on the eve of the October coup, and criticizing Lenin and his followers for years, he remained an outsider to the party's innermost circle. While Trotsky was a member of the Politburo, the committee in charge of making policy for the party, he was never an executive. Brainy Smurf, while often put in a position of power, often had less say then Hefty or Handy. While Trotsky was head of the country's armed forces he demanded unquestioned obedience to himself. Brainy Smurf shares these meglomaniacal tendencies. Trotsky soon fell out of favor with the party and was forced into exile. In 1925 he was forced to resign as Commissar of War, then he was expelled from the party. Trotsky first went to Central Asia, then abroad. Eventually he was assassinated in Mexico. Brainy Smurf, at the end of nearly every episode, is thrown out of Smurf Village. Not exiled, but thrown out, with intention for physical damage, ergo assassination.

Vanity Smurf is, simply put, the Soviet view of a stereotypical capitalist member of the bourgeoisie. Vanity is constantly doing everything in his power to improve his appearance, even at the cost of the rest of the village.

This leads to Poet Smurf. Poet, and closely related Painter Smurf, are not mentioned in every episode, merely brought up once in a great while. These characters are placed to show the Soviet's view of such ideas as individualism. In the USSR, artists of all kinds were kept in camps, as to be watched for signs of dissent. It was not until Gorbachev's regime in 1985, when Glasnost and Perestroika were introduced, that more expression was tolerated, especially through rock music. These programs were rightly perceived as a lift on the restraints of the cultural lives of artists. Glasnost or "openness" was an apt term, but it did not mean simply a lifting of the controls on rock music. Gorbachev had an agenda. Concerts could not be staged as they used to, but were encouraged to support the program of Perestroika in four ways. To begin, the official Party line was trying to approach the youth through their tastes and culture - rock and roll music played a large part. Glasnost encouraged songs about the problems of drug and alcohol abuse. Rock and roll could help the cultural institutions to survive under the new profit conscious economic policy. The commercial potential of rock was obvious. Finally, the massive anti-alcohol campaign led to concerts and discos being proclaimed as "safe" alternatives (Walker).

Now, to end the character resemblances, I bring Smurfette to the consideration of the reader. Smurfette, the only female on the television show for the first few seasons, is the communal wife described by Marx in The Communist Manifesto. Marx states "The Communists have no need to introduce free love; it has existed almost from time immemorial".

The Smurf's principle enemies, Gargamel and Azrael, show the Soviet Union's contempt for religion, especially Judaism. Azrael, in Islamic and Jewish faiths, is known as the angel of death. Azrael is often identified with Gabriel in Jewish writings and Raphael in Islamic tomes.

According to legend, Azrael keeps a scroll containing the name of every person born in the world. The facts such as time of death and whether the person is damned or not or unbeknownst to the angel. When the time comes for a person to die, a note is dropped from the throne of Allah containing the person's name. Azrael reads the note and must separate the soul from the body within forty days. If the person is a believer, they will be peacefully removed. If an unbeliever, Azrael violently tears the soul from the body and casts them into Hell. Mercatante's Encyclopedia of World Mythology and Legend also states the descriptions found in Islamic works, generally give Azrael 70,000 feet, 4,000 wings, four faces, and as many eyes and tongues as there are people in the world.

Clearly, such a highly religious figure that is portrayed as dangerous to the state must represent the anti-religious statements found in The Communist Manifesto. Religion is based on the ideas of the ruling class. "Law, morality, religion, are to [the proletarian] so many bourgeois prejudices, behind which lurk in ambush just as many bourgeois interests".

In the Soviet Union, religion was banned. Jews were persecuted under the rule of Stalin. He referred to them as "cosmopolitan" and thus wasteful. The Jews, along with millions of others, were sent to work camps, imprisoned, or killed by Stalin in the reign of terror known as The Great Purge.

In conclusion, it may be asked, that there is not enough evidence supporting the Smurfs were Soviets. With this in mind, let me give an assortment of episode titles compiled from Lenburg's Encyclopedia of Animated Cartoons. "The Smurf Who Couldn't Say No", "Greedy and the Porridge Pot", "The Cursed Country", and "Denisa's Greedy Doll" all are episodes aimed at slandering capitalism and America. Episodes like "Sir Hefty", "Good Neighbor Smurf", and "Hefty Sees a Serpent" promote the glorification of the worker, comradeship, and loyalty to the state. The Cold War is described in the episodes "The Kaplowey Scroll" a Smurf weapon of mass destruction, otherwise known as nuclear missiles. And "The Man On the Moon" a blatant statement of supposed Soviet superior space technology. In the last years of the television show, In the full sway of Perestroika and Glasnost, the episodes "Poet the Know-It-All" and "The Smurf Who Could Do No Wrong" were released. The former episode is a statement that while artists were allowed more freedom they should not become arrogant and defile the state. While the latter is an admission to the horrors committed by Stalin during the Great Purge.

In 1989, the Smurfs began to travel the world and accept different cultures, just as Gorbachev had done in the final days of the USSR. In 1990 the last new episode of the Smurfs was produced. Nearly two years later, Communism fell in the Soviet Union bringing democracy and President Boris Yeltsin.

The similarities between this children's television show and the once vast Red Empire are much too striking to be a mere coincidence. Could this program, aimed to infiltrate and corrupt children's minds, be a plot set up by Soviet Intelligence? Perhaps we will never know.

Americans by Byron MacGregor

This is from Byron MacGregor and was written back in the 70's but it still holds true to this day.


The United States dollar
Took another pounding
On German, French and
British exchanges this morning
Hitting the lowest point
Ever known in West Germany

It has declined there
By forty-one percent since 1971
And this Canadian thinks it's time
To speak up for the Americans
As the most generous and possibly
The least appreciated people
In all the Earth

As long as sixty years ago when
I first started to read newspapers
I read of floods on the
Yellow River and the Yangtze
Who rushed in with
Men and money to help
The Americans did

They have helped control floods
On the Nile, the Amazon
The Ganges and the Niger
Today the rich bottom land
Of the Mississippi is under water
And no foreign land has sent
A dollar to help

Germany, Japan and to a lesser extent
Britain and Italy were lifted out of
The debris of war by the Americans
Who poured in billions of dollars
And forgave other billions in debts
None of those countries is today
Paying even the interest on it's
Remaining debts to the United States

When the Franc was in danger
Of collapsing in 1956
It was the Americans
Who propped it up
And the reward was to be insulted
And swindled on the streets of Paris
I was there, I saw it

When distant cities are hit by earthquake
It is the United States that hurries in to help
Managua, Nicaragua is one of the most recent examples
So far this spring, fifty-nine American communities
Have been flattened by tornadoes, nobody has helped

The Marshall Plan, the Truman Policy
All pumped billions upon billions
Of dollars into discouraged countries
Now newspapers in those countries
Are writing about the decadent
War mongering Americans

I'd like to just see one of those countries
That is gloating over the erosion
Of the United States dollar
Build it's own airplanes

Come on, let's hear it
Does any other country in the world have
A plane to equal the Boeing jumbo jet
The Lockheed Tri-star or the Douglas-10
If so, why don't they fly them
Why do all international lines
Except Russia, fly American planes

Why does no other land on Earth
Even consider putting a man
Or a woman on the moon

You talk about Japanese technocracy
And you get radios
You talk about German technocracy
And you get automobiles
You talk about American technocracy
And you will find men on the moon
Not once but several times
And safely home again

You talk about scandals and the Americans
Put theirs right in the store window
For everybody to look at
Even the draft dodgers
Are not pursued and hounded

They are here on our streets, most of them
Unless they are breaking Canadian laws
Are getting American dollars from
Ma and Pa at home to spend here

When the Americans get out
Of this bind, as they will
Who could blame them if they said
The hell with the rest of the world
Let someone else buy the Israel bonds
Let someone else build or repair foreign dams
Or design foreign buildings that
Won't shake apart in earthquakes

When the railways of
France, Germany and India
Were breaking down through age
It was the Americans who rebuilt them
When the Pennsylvania Railroad
And the New York Central went broke
Nobody loaned them an old caboose
Both are still broke

I can name you five thousand times
When the Americans raced to the help
Of other people in trouble
Can you name me even one time when
Someone else raced to the Americans in trouble
I don't think there was outside help
Even during the San Francisco earthquake

Our neighbors have faced it alone
And I'm one Canadian who's damned tired
Of hearing them kicked around

They will come out of this thing
With their flag high and when they do
They are entitled to thumb their nose
At the lands that are gloating
Over their present troubles
I hope Canada is not one of these
But there are many smug self-righteous Canadians

And finally, the American Red Cross
Was told at it's forty-eighth
Annual meeting in New Orleans
That it was broke
This year's disasters have taken it all
And nobody but nobody has helped

Medical Marijuana

My opinon on the legalizaton of marijuana is no secret.  I have long believed that it has been a conspiracy to keep it listed as dangerous and a class I drug with no medical benefits.  Over the years many scientists have found medical marijuana to be very beneficial for numerous health problems.  Here is a great website for the pros and cons of medical marijuana:

            http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/

Here are just a few stats about Death rates that alot of people are not aware of:

  - Tobacco   435,000
   -Poor Diet and Physical Inactivity   365,000
   -Alcohol   85,000
   -Microbial Agents   75,000
   -Toxic Agents   55,000
   -Motor Vehicle Crashes   26,347
   -Adverse Reactions to Prescription Drugs   32,000
   -Suicide   30,622
   -Incidents Involving Firearms   29,000
   -Homicide   20,308
   -Sexual Behaviors   20,000
   -All Illicit Drug Use, Direct and Indirect   17,000
    -Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs Such As Aspirin   7,600
    -Marijuana    0

One Angry Woman

This is an email that I recieved a few years ago but i still find it relevent today:

I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some

powerful words. This woman should run for president.
Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is
one ticked off lady.

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not
started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September
11, 2001?
Were people from all over the world, mostly Ameri cans, not brutally
murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from
our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible,
burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?
And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated"
when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well,
I don't. I don't care at all.
I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents
for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.
I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start
caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime
in Saudi Arabia
I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for
chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his
gurgling slashed throat.
I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come but
and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by
hiding in mosques.
I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in earch
of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their
suicide .
I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First
Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law
instead of the United State s Constitution's Bill of Rights.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing
up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.
When I see a w ounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told
not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to
the bank: I don't care.
When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer
mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is
complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can
absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.
And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran"
and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I
don't care !!
If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail
friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for
this ridiculous behavior!
If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should
you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more
atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great
Country! And may I add:

                     "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem"
                    -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you
forward all this.

                        "If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
                -- Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American
sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime
Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by
one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America ,
he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at
how many want in.. And how many want out."
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF
THEM. AMEN!

Spongebob Squarepants

Ok a few years ago my niece got me to watch an episode of Spongebob Squarepants with her.  I have got to say are you kidding me.... This is a kids cartoon....maybe i'm just reading too much into it but just from one episode this is what i got. 

Spongebob Squarepants is a sponge
A Sponge is a form of contraceptive
He likes to catch Jellyfish
A Contraceptive likes to catch Sperm
Squidworth looks like a french tickler
Patrick looks like a Butt Plug
So here we have two sex toys
Mr. Krabs is a crab so here we have a
venerial diesese
Mr. Krabs sells Krabby patties in his store
the Krusty Krab so basically he is canabalising his
own children
Then you have Sandy Cheeks so I guess we were having sex in the sand
Hence having Sandy Cheeks
and all of this takes place in Binkini Bottom
Guess she gets a lot of action
Mrs. Puff well I guess her name explains what she likes to do
And remember if you go too low you will hit Rock Bottom, the only way to get there is a vertical road that takes you into a deep dark trench, looks to me like you are sliding down the crack, but in the end you basically end up in the asshole.

Tanning Tax

This is an email that I recieved today:

I was speaking with a very intelligent man that I know today, and he pointed out something of interest to me. While I was aware of the new 10% tax on tanning salons, I hadn’t given it much thought. I mean, I don’t patronize tanning salons, so what would I care right? Well, my friend asked me to tell him who goes into tanning salons. Hmmmm. Let’s see – well, people who want a tan right? People who need a tan. People with pasty skin. Light skinned people are the only people, in any number, who would ever go into a tanning salon. So, this is really a tax on light skinned people and yet I don’t recall hearing any outcry from the media. Imagine that. If Congress passed, and light skinned president signed, any bill that targeted people of color - there would be a poop storm of Biblical proportion. I guess it’s only racism when light skinned people do it. At least I got that all figured out now and I can move on .No, I’m not making it up:  

http://money.cnn.com/2010/03/24/news/economy/tanning_tax/

Does anyone find this a bit messed up?